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Thursday, July 1, 2010

Lexapro "Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Brain Gone"

I've posted a little bit about being on anti-depressants.... and how off the hook I felt on them. They were really good for me in a lot of ways. I actually felt like I was more myself on them from the second month till about the eighth month I was on them. All in all I took Lexapro for over a year... (believe it or not it was originally prescribed by a neurologist for post concussive disorder. Yeah, I banged my noggin, and my poor brain went flooey.) I stayed on it because marital "trouble" sent me into a depressive anti-self spiral. Well, a number of things have come together to lead me to believe it's time for me to get off the Lex.

1. I've moved around docs and it has become increasingly hard to get the script.

2. The co-pay every month is $40

3. After six months my creativity just sort of... petered out, fizzled, farkled, turded out and up and quit.

4. If I missed a pill my brain felt like it was being static shocked... having the flu meant no Lex which left my brain spasming... tres unpleasant.

5. While being over-anxious is horrid, being under-anxious means I wasn't worried about even the things I SHOULD have worried about... like remembering to pay a bill or put gas in the car...

6. My usually fantastical mind full of trivial information and ready to fact find at any moment turned into a foggy, sludgy, mud pit. Basic things like what movie I watched last night, if I took my medicine, what time an appointment was... I couldn't remember a dang thing. But don't worry, I wasn't anxious about anything so I didn't give a damn.

So, I ran across this thing about dirt being the new Prozac... I would tell you which of my dear concerned friends who missed the old Becca told me, but I'm still going through withdrawal and can't remember....! Cool Discover Magazine Article.  Essentially, there are micro-organizms in the Earth which help our brains in the same way Prozac or Lexapro would.  Pretty fascinating huh?  I guess farmers and Zen masters probably had this figured out years ago...

So, me and my "tazer brain" have been working in the garden, building new beds, transplanting greenery, eating blackberries right off the bush, picking strawberries and baking pies...  and I have to say I feel a lot better. I am starting to feel less zappy in the brain, and I actually feel pretty jubilant. Who knew a spoon full (or a wheel barrow load) of dirt a day would keep the Lexapro away?  I have kind of an idea that the guy in the sky may have planned this whole thing out for us...

I'm a little worried about what I'll do when winter returns... but I have been watching "True Blood" so I have a few ideas...

I think Anti-depressants are totally a big help when you need them, and maybe I still need them....but I also need to be able to be concerned, creative and cognizant of who I am too. I weaned for about 3 weeks and I've been Lex free for about two. Already I feel a little more witty and a little less foggy. And hey, I'm WRITING again!!!! Woot for the Flys!

Have any of you experienced this? I'm curious to see how other people handle these sort of serotonin uptake inhibitorinos.... My doc said that there were no memory issues associated with this med, and using it would help my memory...

Best wishes,


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  2. I've never been on antidepressants, so I have nothing useful at all to contribute to this discussion! But, i do believe that gardening, and getting outside in general, can do wonders for your mood, so I'm glad it's helping you. Good luck, and keep us posted!
    Oh, and I LOVE that "I don't give a fuck" picture!

  3. Hope this can help you.
    I have learned when tribulations come along the way think of something that you have done and proud of or spacialy happiness.
    I am trying to help and remember There is someone that Loves and Cares about you.