Spring vs. Head in the books.

So studying is starting to turn me into a not-so-fun person. It seems that my back pack and a self-guilt trip are always present with me.  I guess that this is just what it's like when grown-ups go back to school.

Places I've Studied;

• In the laundry mat.
• In the mini while waiting for kids at sports practice.
• In the mini while the fam watches lacrosse.
• on the toilet.
• In the doctor's office waiting room.
• At traffic court (for my hubs not me).
• While pretending to listen in other classes.
• In the bathtub.
• While pretending to listen during phone conversations.
• While burning dinner.

Oddly, just as my deep seated fear of failing has me falling asleep sitting up in bed with a pen in my hand, an open book on my lap and a stack of half-completed flashcards underneath my dog....I find out my daughter is failing Regents Biology.

I want so badly to be the understanding mom. But she's in 10th grade for crying in the sink. Shouldn't she have the fact that NOT FAILING takes a little effort ON HER PART figured out? 

I got the note in the mailbox as I arrived home from class, opened it in the kitchen and immediately headed out into a spring flood type deluge of rain...to go talk to her bio teacher.  Turns out, she doesn't turn in her homework or "correct" (can you believe that crap?) tests.  Sooooo I got the low down, a copy of her lab booklet, copies of all her missing assignments....surprised her as she walked into the lab 30 minutes late with her boyfriend...and headed home to play personal assistant to my 16 year old.

The remainder of the week was spent riding her to complete work.

I generally spend 4-4.5 hours of time each afternoon/evening helping kids with homework. I don't mind doing it. I actually enjoy it, especially when it coincides with stuff I'm studying, like the human heart!  But it really miffs me when I have to practically beg a kid to do their homework.  HELLO does ANYONE see what I'm trying to do here? I study constantly.  Shouldn't they see me as an example?

Cue appropriate verbage:

• I practice what I preach!
• I wouldn't ask you to do anything I'm not already doing!
• I say what I do and do what I say!

I know I'm co-dependant. I get that.

"(co-dependency) often involves putting one's needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others"

But at what point exactly does co-dependancy begin? At what point do I stop going to the school, and digging to the bottom of mess' for these kids....so they don't wind up living in trailer parks, sniffing bath salts, and reading copies of People that they stole from the laundry mat (not that I know anything about that)???

Until I figure that out...I'll be working on MY homework at between the hours of 11pm and 4:30am. And buying new socks because I can't find time to search the house for them and wash a load, because my kids can't do these things for themselves consistantly. Advice is welcome.

Before you think I've lost my Inner Becca, take a look at my spring in NY (FINALLY) photos... Thank Goodness Winter Ends Every Year No Matter What!

Best Wishes,
RebeccaFlys

 

Really? Really!!! For REALSIES?

I happened to mention the ages of my kids in a class today and a 20ish looking guy student (who I opened the door for after class, because he was on crutches, so don't be thinking the Flys is into any hanky panky) asked "Can I ask how old you are?"

What the hell, I thought. And I told him the truth. "Almost 35."

"WOW" he says, and I almost kick his crutches out from under him before he limps another step and finishes...."I thought you were like, 25 tops."

"My God," I said, "thank you."

Please notice how McDonalds has improved upon minty green St. Patty's Day perfection by adding whipped cream, AND a cherry to their phenom seasonal concoction, the Shamrock Shake.  I'm def picking up one of these babies on the way home to celebrate my youthful appearance. 

When I get home I'm going to go online, and surf around for places to spout my positive opinion of L'Oreal Revitalift. Yeah, TY L'Oreal, I'm your bitch for life. FOR LIFE.

So, the dark pit is pulling me in a bit, and I'm struggling to "celebrate the small stuff" even though great small stuff is going on all around me.  I know it's there, happening, behind the pile of dirty laundry, past the greasy pans I used to make a shepherd's pie at 6am, and through the frozen windshield that will take an hour to thaw and scrape this morning...

My friends, let's share our bliss, just as we share our challenges... What kindnesses, amazing moments, or happy things are happening around you?  Let's notice them and share.  I feel like I need all the positive I can procure on this frozen NY Monday. How about you?

Two Little Things for Today....

~~I'm grateful for this song that I play on my MP3 every morning on my way to school...

My Hallelujah Song by Julianne Hough 

~~I'm emboldened by the little birds, who somehow survive out there in the frozen tundra of my yard, and certainly appreciate the seed I put out for them! The thingee full of snow on the right is where I put stale bread for them...

 

Here's to hoping I can behave with grace this week...and not throw people's dirty laundry out in the lawn! Again!