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Monday, March 7, 2011

The Laundry of the Megaverse

My school was canceled today.  Due to "inclement weather."  Go Monday cancellations. The kid's schools were not canceled. I would be psyched to have all this free study time, but I have two kids home sick from school.

Also, I have not quite recovered from doing...

The Laundry of the Megaverse!!! 
(Duh Duh Duh Duuuuuh)

THIS is what I did yesterday. One Whole Weeks Worth of Laundry. 12 loads. See, this way I do a whole weeks worth of laundry for five people in just one day. Practically all at once. In only like...four hours.  Also, I get it all done in a warm, friendly place where nobody is bickering and the dog doesn't knock over my pile. And on Sundays at the laundry mat, you hardly ever run into any creepers.

I figure I'm either crazy, lazy, or a complete genius. I mean, so what if the mother ship (aka my mini-van) reeks of dirty socks and random unmentionables, as does my history notebook...(see it there on the folded laundry? And so what if I added a little extra work to the laundry process with all of the basket hauling. I was multitasking! Studying and slaving all at once. (Hence the whole potential genius concept).

God bless return-to-college mamas, every one. I'm starting to see that they should all be knighted by the Queen of England, at LEAST. Or maybe by Jude Law....yeah Jude Law.  Why? well....because he's English too that's why.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Electrons, Frozen Bippies, and the Finger Lakes

Sometimes what you think you are seeing is so far from what you're actually seeing... Lesson learned world, thanks for the scar.  What a week or two.


This week, as I tried to re-learn why so many, or so many electrons go in an outside shell, (TY psych degree which decrees it is imperative I understand how many protons are in your nucleus), our lake was frozen over completely, and I was driving home with these incredible kneel down and pray sunsets to my right. 

I feel like I live in my mother-ship (AKA my silver mini-van), this photo expresses my skewed view of the world from my most frequent vantage point, or from my most natural environment, whichever.

I used to own mittens, but I have kids, so all I have to keep my hands warm are dirty socks, or my own sleeves, otherwise I would have stopped to take pictures sooner. It ended up I made a stop and photographed bare handed. It was so cold out, I think I damaged the nerves in my picture-taking button-pressing finger. I may also have frozen my bippies off. My mom always warned me about that.

You gotta love the Finger Lakes. Even when your fingertips are frozen off, you're pretty sure there isn't enough salt in the free world to de-ice your driveway, and the dog keeps peeing by the door because it's just too cold out there for her...you find yourself nestled in your mini-van, in this pretty little corner of NY, feeling pretty lucky to have such a nice view.  

Oh, and the wine isn't so bad either. 

And it will be summer, eventually, for about five minutes.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Really? Really!!! For REALSIES?

I happened to mention the ages of my kids in a class today and a 20ish looking guy student (who I opened the door for after class, because he was on crutches, so don't be thinking the Flys is into any hanky panky) asked "Can I ask how old you are?"

What the hell, I thought. And I told him the truth. "Almost 35."

"WOW" he says, and I almost kick his crutches out from under him before he limps another step and finishes...."I thought you were like, 25 tops."

"My God," I said, "thank you."

Please notice how McDonalds has improved upon minty green St. Patty's Day perfection by adding whipped cream, AND a cherry to their phenom seasonal concoction, the Shamrock Shake.  I'm def picking up one of these babies on the way home to celebrate my youthful appearance. 

When I get home I'm going to go online, and surf around for places to spout my positive opinion of L'Oreal Revitalift. Yeah, TY L'Oreal, I'm your bitch for life. FOR LIFE.