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Friday, December 11, 2009

Garden Gnome, Prick, & Fungus

Several years ago, my husband said something like, "I think a few plants around here would make you happy. Most ladies keep plants."

"Ah ha" logic moment for the failing housewife. ~Plants = Happiness + Plants in my house = Me happier~ 

So I bought a tropical umbrella plant thing on clearance at the grocery store for 99 cents and an addict was born.  

I especially like the succulent leafy green plants that seem to tend to get mites and bugs and stuff.  Inspecting plants, pruning them, rooting them, ahhhh heaven. 

African violets are also a little fav of mine.  I just like that they bloom pretty much all year, and I can stick a leaf in the dirt to grow another one. I also like it when they get a siamese twin and I have to disentangle them to create two freaky plants. Don't tell my DH, but he WAS right about bringing in the greenery the plants really do make me happy.

Another logic moment: ~LADIES like Plants + I like Plants = I AM A LADY~  Who knew?

So, my Garden Gnome (he needs a name if anybody can think one up) and I have a love hate relationship with one plant in particular.  It's a prickly pear I think. I dug it up illegally in a state park in Massachusetts on a certain island where the wild ponies roam freely (think Misty).

I pulled it from the sandy earth with DH's help.  I actually got a teeny tiny pricker in my ring finger that didn't come out until it finally got infected six weeks later.  The cactus sat in the trunk of my car for a while after we got home, till' I remembered it. Good thing it wasn't an orchid or something.

Cacti got a pot and a milk glass planter of his own which he must have liked because from the tiny single "leaf" thing these other prick leaf things grew. One the first year, one the next, then this summer a long "finger" and now in the dead of winter two more.  I've had it for 3 years and it's starting to look interesting, in an absolutely wierd and ugly hairy way, that says "don't touch me, EVER." 

Since nobody is interested In Real Life me and the Gnome are sharing cacti here, just in case anyone in the world has a cactus fetish or would like to prosocute me for illegal out-of-state cactus procurement.

You can compare the little cacti pricks to my finger for size. I know, fascinating, right?


Oh, and the gnome wanted to point out this dried up emaciated mushroom which was found during a recent overdue kitchen cleaning. Honest to God it's so solid you could shellac it. Further proof of my FAAHW (see previous entry for definition). 
Best wishes,


  1. Ouch! That's why I don't keep cacti. Actually I try not to keep houseplants at all. I'm like houseplant kryptonite.

  2. Gnatty the Garden Gnome!